Wednesday, May 21, 2008

"Don't Mess With..."

I tell you, I try to plug other people's work and nobody that isn't named "Bubs" or "John," will comment. I try to plug my own work and only Dale reads it...and my poor writing has him missing a crucial plot point.

Well, I know how to get the old comment ball rolling, more irreverent fluff, like the inane comments I leave on your blog...only it's on my blog-



Um...


...Where was I? Oh, yeah. So I have mild dyslexia and I have to read somethings twice to get the gist of them. Take a new movie poster that I saw about a month ago. "Don't Mess With Zohan." Of course, the first thing I read was "Don't Mess With Lohan."

What's the difference between the two other than their respective genders? Well, I'm glad you asked that (even though you didn't but humor me because then I can't get the bit going). You see, both are considered dangerous in their chosen professions. Zohan is a former Mossad agent that wants to be a hair dresser and Lindsay? A cold war experiment that the Soviet Union secretly unleashed on us, right before the end of the Cold War.



You see, Zohan gets sideways...



Um, so does Lindsay. Zohan just wants to do your hair and Lindsay? She just wants to do...your clothes. What? You thought she wanted you? No, she just wants to swipe a fur coat or two off ya.

Now, according to the poster below-



What will Lindsay blow?...


...no, wrong usage of the word as far as she is concerned. Blow, not blow. Go get...



...if you're going to work on that. Now Zohan has deadly fists and feet...



...and Lindsay?



No silly, I'm talking about her getting behind the wheel! Honestly...

Labels:

22 Comments:

Blogger BeckEye said...

I think someone has a crush on Linz!

Wed May 21, 01:17:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Dale said...

Both are divine comedies aren't they? Now I have to go see what I missed or misconstrued. I'm a terrible person. Forgive me. Or write better. :-)

Wed May 21, 02:38:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Dan said...

Ah, you've discovered the magic of marketing: T&A! Works wonders, doesn't it?

Oh, and good post too. What was it about again?

Wed May 21, 05:28:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Creepy said...

'Don't Mess with Lohan' will be the title of her inevitable sex tape.

Wed May 21, 06:30:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Becky,

How could you even say such a thing? You know that you're the only crush for me.

Dale,

"Both are divine comedies aren't they?"

Are we talking Dante? Because only one has the fire down below.

Dan,

Yes, snark and sex sell.

"Oh, and good post too. What was it about again?"

I dunno, I have the attention span of a fle...oh, look something shiny.

Creepy,

That's not comedic gold, that is platnium.

Wed May 21, 07:36:00 PM PDT  
Blogger John said...

I visit all of your blogs...including the one with the midgets and the weird stuff the do with...never mind.

You always have a place for your words in that little pennysaver thing I publish WP.

JDC

Wed May 21, 07:44:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Gifted Typist said...

Your procrastinations are maaaaavelous, writer

Wed May 21, 07:45:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Ack! Dear sir, kindly step away from the celebrity firecrotch shots now.

Do not stoop, or your King Write Procrastinator crown may slip and fall off.

Wed May 21, 08:43:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

John,

"I visit all of your blogs...including the one with the midgets and the weird stuff the do with...never mind."

I know, I appreciate and that's my main point. You and Bubs are typically the only ones that don't lurk.

"You always have a place for your words in that little pennysaver thing I publish WP."

Thank you, I'm trying and don't ever call AAM a "pennysaver." The only fiction I've ever seen in a pennysaver, is the ridiculous prices on junk.

Gifted,

Thank you.

Baroness,

"Ack! Dear sir, kindly step away from the celebrity firecrotch shots now."

Ah yes, but do you see the difference in comments? There lies the dilemma.

Wed May 21, 08:53:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Eric Riback said...

{eyes stuck on first pic}

...did you say something?

Wed May 21, 09:38:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Bridget said...

I hate it when you are write.

So I won't comment.

"inane?" I r hurt.

Thu May 22, 04:35:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Some Guy said...

I need to get better about commenting. But I do visit. Every day. And why haven't I heard about this midget blog until now?

Thu May 22, 06:45:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Quin Browne said...

i commented, pooh head.

Thu May 22, 02:26:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Eric,

You keep looking at the picture, while I take your wallet ; )

Bridget,

If anybody gets a waiver, you do. Relax, comment when you're ready.

Chris,

"And why haven't I heard about this midget blog until now?"

Well, since gays have co-opted the expression "on the down low," I've created a midget blog that is called "On The Down, Down, Low" in effort to reclaim the expression back...no, there's no midget blog!

Person Whose Name Begins With A "Q,"

"i commented"

Um, I guess you do on occasion. Come to think of it, you do.

"pooh head"

That's "Mister Poopy Head," young missy.

Thu May 22, 04:39:00 PM PDT  
Blogger John said...

"no, there's no midget blog!"

Liar.
It's called www.WeeWriterProcrastinator.com

JDC

Thu May 22, 05:56:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

And I was dumb enough to click that.

Thu May 22, 07:49:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Coaster Punchman said...

Unfortunately none of those photos does anything for me! But I'll still stop in anyway.

cp

Fri May 23, 06:49:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Coaster,

Your response is posted, we aim to please.

Fri May 23, 08:22:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Bubs said...

I'd say your strategy to generate comments worked pretty well...

Fri May 23, 10:55:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Bubs,

Shhhh, keep it quiet or 95% of the audience will go back to lurking...

Fri May 23, 01:10:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Jewgirl said...

I'm so pleased she wore panties when she spread. That's progress, though I suspect mama lohan is peeved. oh well.

I love your writing.

Sat May 31, 03:36:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Katie-lah,

I chose one with not going commando and I don't know when the pic was taken, so we don't know if she actually is progressing ; )

Sun Jun 01, 08:46:00 PM PDT  

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