Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Every Five Seconds...

To the person (and I use this term in the loosest definition "of,") who tooted his or her horn every five seconds. The person that you wanted to come out, did not do so after awhile. I believed that they knew you were there...because the whole neighborhood knew you were there after a minute of you tooting your horn, every five seconds.

It might've been a good strategy at this point, for you to change things up by getting out of your car and:

A) Ringing the doorbell.
B) Or knocking on the door.
C) Or assuming that they knew you were there. Because, like I said, the whole neighborhood knew you were there.


Because your horn tooting was ineffectual after the first two minutes. Nor did it work after five minutes. Sense a theme? I do, because, you are not very bright, are you?

The next time you make me lose eight minutes of sleep, you will find driving, extremely difficult. Because it is very hard to drive a car, when you are facing the wrong way. Consider that for awhile. If you still haven't figure out just what will happen when you do that again, consider the second part of the equation. It is even more difficult to put the car in gear, when the shifter is firmly entrenched in your lower colon.

Capisce?

3 Comments:

Blogger katie schwartz said...

hopefully shim reads your blog and WON'T be making THAT mistake again. wretched whore that shim is.

Tue Sep 12, 06:11:00 PM PDT  
Blogger BeckEye said...

You would hate it here in NY (and NJ). Honking horns are our anthem. And we have a whole different type of salute.

Speaking of which...I just had a confrontation with a cabbie last weekend. He honked at me, I flipped him off and he proceeded to pull up next to me and babble on in broken English about how women shouldn't do things like that and someday someone will do something bad to me. I can't remember how many F-bombs I dropped on him at that point, but I'm sure it was a lot. I guess he thought I'd back down since I'm a woman. Wrong.

Wed Sep 13, 02:56:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Katie,

Actually, I think if this idiot read the blog, he or she would do it everyday. This person thought they were being funny and that it was one big game.

Becka,

I could take it. A honk here and there, and I'll go back to sleep after a few seconds (albeit, pissed off). As someone who has been working the graveyard shift almost half of my life, only continuous sounds are what wake me up.

Alarm clocks, phones, jackhammers, etc...

Way to go with the cabbie ; ) Be careful though, you don't want to get the moron who thinks it is okay to hit women.

Wed Sep 13, 08:25:00 PM PDT  

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