Saturday, February 17, 2007

My Grandmother's Passing

My grandmother passed away, early this morning and I'm trying to stay distracted. Thus, the final plunge for me into Blogger Beta and adding a dozen tags or so. She lived a long and wonderful life, though it wasn't always happy. There were several years where she even raised me, as my parents remodeled the house that we were living in at the time and I had to stay with my grandparents.

Over the years when my mother was sick, my grandmother filled the maternal and spiritual void. It wasn't really that much of a Freudian slip when I called her "mom," because for all intents and purposes, she was.

To a degree, I was a lousy grandson. I could never live up to the personal and academic expectations that she had for me. Not to mention that the divorce between my parents, created the first in a series of rifts that continue to tear my family apart today.

I'd like to talk about this in depth, but a couple of people in my mother's side of the family know about the blog and that would be just salt and lemon on the papercut that is our family. So I'll just say that I miss you very much, Grandma, and I know that you've gone on to a better place you are not in pain anymore.

7 Comments:

Blogger chelene said...

Sorry for your loss, WP.

Sat Feb 17, 05:57:00 PM PST  
Blogger Dale said...

Sorry to hear about this WP.

Sat Feb 17, 08:55:00 PM PST  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Chelene and Dale,

Thank you very much.

Sat Feb 17, 10:45:00 PM PST  
Blogger James said...

My sympathies. With a terminally ill grandmother myself (my last one), this resonated with me. Especially the part about not being a good grandson....Compared to others in the fam, I'm the golden child, but that doesn't mean I still don't feel "I could have done better."

Also, don't you just love divorce? If it weren't for that, where else would everyone get their angst?

Sat Feb 17, 11:16:00 PM PST  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

James,

Thank you and regret is the psychotic and caffinated, rubber chihuahua that constantly sinks its teeh into your ankles.

"Also, don't you just love divorce? If it weren't for that, where else would everyone get their angst?"

I never watched "Titus" much, though I can't remember why. I did enjoy the show, though I didn't quite remember one of his opening monologues correctly. The IMDB has it written like this:

According to the Los Angeles Times, 63% of families in America are now considered dysfunctional. That means that I'm in the majority. It's the people with the mom, dad, brother, sister, white picket fence, those people are the *freaks*!

Sun Feb 18, 02:24:00 AM PST  
Blogger "jew" "girl" said...

oy, bubbie, I am so, SO profoundly sorry for your loss.

for the record, you could never be a lousy anything, especially in the eyes of your grandmother.

Sun Feb 18, 06:06:00 PM PST  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Katie-lah,

Thank you much.

"for the record, you could never be a lousy anything, especially in the eyes of your grandmother."

As an example, I could've visited her more. The last five years had just sucked for her, she had a stroke.

She didn't want me to take her out to restaurants and in general, she felt too self-concious. I didn't like visiting her in the "assisted living" facility. I had stopped visiting her for awhile, because the last time I visited her, she refused to wear her hearing aid, and I had to shout the whole time I was there.

I get a lot of my stubbornness and pride from her, that was part of the rift between us, and that side of the family.

Mon Feb 19, 02:40:00 PM PST  

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