More Weapons of Crass Destruction...

(to the key of a certain Aerosmith song)

Dickie's got a gun
He has the liberals and moderates on the run
His war on terrorism has just begun

But what did Harry Whittington do?
In his pocket was a Jack Abrahamoff I.O.U.


Seriously and politics aside, I wouldn't have gone hunting with either of them. One is seventy-eight years-of-age and the other has a history of heart attacks. Couple that with shotguns and you have a death wish worthy of Charles Bronson.

My immediate concern is this woman who was walking her dog yesterday in front my house while I was trying to get some sleep and if she's going to return. You see, she was loud, but her dog was louder. She was shooting the bull an equally loud woman and I almost tuned them out when her dog started going off.

If a 747 cranks out about 120 decibels, these three were at least 125db. I could picture the three of them hovering over my bed with bad Spinal Tap wigs doing a bad Nigel St. Hubbins impression, "this one goes up to 111db." Not to mention the dog was a semi-automatic yapper but someone filed down its firing pin and illegally converted to a fully-automatic machine-barker.

Yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap-yappity-yap-yap-yap-yap-yap!

The ladies were talking at the top of their lungs and the dog was worked up over God knows what. A cat? That it was being ignored by its Mistress? The high cost of living has forced the household to switch to dry dog food? For almost twenty minutes!

I swear, the little monster stopped only for fifteen seconds before yapping off for another seven minutes. Granted that I was twice as annoyed because I was trying to sleep, but I'm surprised that one of the neighbors didn't just lose it and throw a bucket of water (or worse) on the dog or the worthless dog of an owner.