Procrastinator Goes Middle America

First, whoever the genius was in Caltrans that decided to pattern the freeways of San Jose after the ones in L.A. by putting overpasses right next to vital exits? Thank you very much, I love crossing four lanes of traffic (two of those lanes, people merging in from another overpass that only God knows where they came from) to have someone dive for that overpass and just miss my bumper.

It would seem to me that you were clearly bought off by:

A) The auto body repair industry, as each one of these intersections in the middle of a freeway should guarantee at least two accidents a day.
B) The blood pressure and heart medication industry. So that's what a minor heart attack feels like! Cool! Call me "Oliver," because you make me want to say "please Sir, can I have some more?"
C) The liquor industry. Because navigating through that would turn a tea-totaler into a two martini-a-day habit.

Those denizens of San Jose who tried to commit road sodomy on me? Next time, I want flowers, a kiss and wear a condom. Miserable donkey felchers.

Enough with the traffic rant and on to the big slice of Middle America! Oh boy, I went to my first Hometown Buffet! It's an all you can eat cafeteria, it's a brightly lit piece of Nebraskan restaurant in the middle of Northern California, it's two, two, two pieces of Middle Americana in one!

Burgers? Yeah, they got 'em, dry as your high school cafeteria, though sadly, missing the bits of bone. They even have steak and prime rib! But you'll never get more than a small slice, cut on the thinnest of biases.

They make this poor woman slice and dish the cuts of meat...she is the most dispised person in the restaurant...that includes the kid that screams for fifteen straight minutes because he can't have seconds on pudding. Trust me kid, that ain't "pudding." Drop the last four letters and that's what you get.

At any rate, I thanked this poor woman and I think I blew her mind for a quick second. She expected me to grab the carving fork and threaten her with it, as the previous three customers had.

Most of the food was decent to good and you get what you pay for. They have real good polish sausage, good fried chicken and the like.

It's just that after we left, for some reason...I don't know. I just wanted to put on a Jim Beam hat and vote Republican. Maybe it's something they put in the pud...er, "pudding."