Tuesday, October 09, 2007

E-Chaos

Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds and marks

That's right Dan McCafferty, especially when you sing it like that.

Well, here at Procrastinator Industries, I've been coming up with some new ideas and business plans. So what is on the top of my list? A dating service...and not just any dating service, the dating service. I will call it "E-Chaos" and to all the folks at E-Harmony? Harmonize this.

Why settle for a healthy relationship? That's boring and safe, chaos makes you feel alive! Why do you deserve compatibility or happiness in your relationships? You have to go through the bad to get to the good and, whew, do we have some bad for you.

Ladies? We will introduce you to men who are so flaky, that not only will they not call you, they don't even have pre-paid cell phones or landlines. We are talking about when you go out to dinner, the type of guys that will leave you with the check and you won't be able to pay it because they took your purse.
Gentlemen? We are talking about about bar skanks whose idea of fidelity is to keep it under three guys after the first three hours that they wake up.

Ladies, we are talking about studs like this one...

Guys, lovely ladies like these will give you that funny feeling in your tummy...




Yes, "E-Chaos." Because love hurts and we bring the pain!

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15 Comments:

Blogger Bubs said...

Hey, if you need help recruiting the talent to start things out, I know some people...

Tue Oct 09, 08:21:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Bubs,

Holy crap, I don't even get to edit it and I got a comment already!

As a matter of fact, I was just thinking about the fine young gentlemen that you mention every Wednesday on your blog, as potential candidates.

Tue Oct 09, 08:25:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Dale said...

Where do I sign up? I'm a flake.

Tue Oct 09, 09:04:00 AM PDT  
Blogger BeckEye said...

Robert DeNiro's waiting, stalking your parents...

You have to sing that to the tune of a certain Bananarama song to find it at all humorous. Or maybe you just have to be an idiot like me.

Tue Oct 09, 09:10:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Dale,

Your flake credentials are suspect as you are notoriously nice at times. Not to mention a certain Korean bagel lady has told me that you don't bring the pain.

Becky,

I've never heard that song, but I read some of the lyrics when it came out and it caused a minor controversy in Europe when it came out.

Tue Oct 09, 09:29:00 AM PDT  
Blogger angel said...

bucking frilliant!
sign me up!
not that i'm a skank or anything...

you know...

at all...




um...

Tue Oct 09, 12:46:00 PM PDT  
Blogger chelene said...

Fantastic idea. I have more than a few prospects for this site!

Tue Oct 09, 07:41:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Angel,

You are far from a skank.

Chelene,

That's the beauty of it, everyone knows a candidate or five. Let's get out there and make some money!

Tue Oct 09, 08:14:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Amy said...

Wow. I'm glad I'm not dating.

Tue Oct 09, 09:11:00 PM PDT  
Blogger James said...

I don't know whether to look at him or read him.

Actually...your dating service sounds like all the others, only with a little bit of truth up front. Ha!

Wed Oct 10, 09:39:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Amy,

I'd give you an on my blogroll discount, though.

James,

"I don't know whether to look at him or read him."

Mitchum's Max Cady didn't have as much ink, though he had the original "love" and "hate" on his hands. I love how Spike Lee updated that for "Do The Right Thing."

"Actually...your dating service sounds like all the others, only with a little bit of truth up front. Ha!"

Heh-heh-heh, the cat's out of the bag.

Wed Oct 10, 04:13:00 PM PDT  
Blogger is that so wrong? said...

Wait.... isn't it "Love wounds and mars"?

Just keeping you lyrically on your toes, WP.

Wed Oct 10, 05:18:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

ITSW,

You are correct sir!

I was lead astray by this link. I tend to stick with lyric sites that don't give out a shitload of viruses and I wound up sacrificing accuracy.

Wed Oct 10, 07:18:00 PM PDT  
Blogger jewgirl said...

oh, cormac, you are really putting the fun in dysfunctionl.

sign me up. can I be your first client?

Thu Oct 11, 09:29:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Katie-lah,

"oh, cormac, you are really putting the fun in dysfunctionl."

Oooh, I like that statement.

You can be my fifth client and I have just the perfect guy in mind for you.

Fri Oct 12, 07:30:00 AM PDT  

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