Monday, May 12, 2008

The Name Of This Product Induces, Not Prevents Heartburn

You spend millions of dollars on reseach.

You are going to spend millions on advertising.

You spend tens, possibly, hundreds of thousands of dollars behind the research, test marketing, and consultation for the name of your future product and the best that you come up with... ass-f-fecks?

Extremely weak sauce, knuckleheads.



Anonymous bookfraud said...

welcome to the exciting world of marketing, write. and if there ever was a need for ass effects, aciphex fills that need!

i see that ass effects is for acid reflux. why not acitexmex? tex-mex always gives me heartburn.

Mon May 12, 01:41:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

"welcome to the exciting world of marketing, write."

I just realized that you can't spell marketing without "m-a-n-g-e." Coincidence?

"why not acitexmex? tex-mex always gives me heartburn."

I feel for you. Though I can eat most anything milder than habaƱero, my job burns me like that.

Mon May 12, 05:53:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Hey, I don't know - it's kind of catchy. "We're going to put a Hex on Acip". Er, "Acid".

These poor drug companies - they should get together with the people who name nail polish. That would get the ol' creative(& digestive) juices flowing...

Mon May 12, 07:18:00 PM PDT  
Blogger angel said...

obviously someone was reading it differently and no one read it out loud to let him/her know it sounded stupid if you weren't in on the campaign!

Mon May 12, 10:40:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...


From what I've seen of nail polish companies, they spend a good portion of their budget on naming the colors and they even eclipse house paint names in terms of catchiness.


That's the thing though, they should just buck their foolish pride and name it something else. Every time the ad comes on TV, I have to fight my inner eleven year-old boy and not giggle uncontrolably.

Tue May 13, 02:02:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Confederacy said...

Here's what went down

Some Higher up jerk in Marketing brainstormed this one and told the underlings to work it up into something.
The higher up fell in love with his own b*llsh*t. The underlings saw it, laughed to themselves but supported the Higher up knowing he would look like the jerk that he is.

It's a twist on the Emperor has no clothes. It's the best for of subversion the underling has.

Tue May 13, 11:59:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...


Welcome to the dusty corner of the web and you've hit it dead on.

Tue May 13, 08:39:00 PM PDT  

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