Wednesday, November 15, 2006

R.M.B.A.S. #8

For the uninitiated, “R.M.B.A.S” signifies “Random Musings, Bruisings and Aloe-scented Soothings.” It’s a bit that I used to post before the Friday flash fiction bug hit me like Britney’s bodyguards did to K-Rap when he tried to retrieve his clothes from the house. At any rate, quoth the Perry Ferrell, “here we go!”

Want a real irony, Alanis? I am
Endicott. I’m not sure how or when it happened.

I used to chuckle like a bored teen that stumbled on to a tank of laughing gas and sing the hell out of that song, every time the video came on. Now, I have turned into the very thing that I mocked. Of course, I’ll bet the Missus didn’t see herself mellowing out either and I don’t see anyone calling her “Cuervo Gold” again…or, at least until Procrastinator Jr. is in college.

It’s by far, the worst idiom in the English language and it causes me some disconcertment, but just why the hell would you “keep your nose to the grindstone?” I mean seriously, at best, you will get blade or grindstone debris in your eyes and at worst, you will get Michael Jackson nose the hard way.

Crab season in the San Francisco Bay Area has official kicked off. The Missus would tell you, however, that every day is crab season when I don’t get my sleep. Just the same, keep that lemon and butter to yourself!

I don’t know the origins of that sing-song ditty, but every time I see Ian McShane, I am reminded somehow of Finnegan and this pops into my head…

Al Swearengen, begin again
Al Swearengen, begin again

I’m 5’10½”, so let me say, that the second worse idiom in the English language, is being “short with someone.” What, tall people can’t be asshats too?

Keep that (expletive deleted) tartar sauce away from me, too!

The Departed and Stranger Than Fiction are the next two movies on my “to see” list and I’m lucky to see one movie a month, in the theaters. So let me say that I feel very left out at this time as soon I will be the last person in America that has either not seen “Borat”or sued Sacha Baron Cohen. Which brings me to the all-important lesson that I may go into detail about on a later post. Even major Hollywood directors have no control over how things are edited. So knowing that in advance, don’t sign the release form. It’s as simple as that.

Take the damn bib off, I am not a crab!

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Blogger Reel Fanatic said...

I enjoyed both Stranger than Fiction and The Departed quite a bit ... Will Ferrell is surprisingly enjoyable when he's toned down, and The Departed is Mr. Scorsese's best movie in many years

Wed Nov 15, 03:01:00 PM PST  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...


Welcome. People forget that Ferrell can act and that's understandable. He's done so many over the top movies in the past. I'm glad that the old Scorsese back.

Wed Nov 15, 08:21:00 PM PST  
Blogger BeckEye said...

Now, "tartar sauce" is a great idiom. It's only really taken off with the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom, but I use it occasionally.

Thu Nov 16, 02:06:00 PM PST  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...


Yeah, I found myself using that one day, it had slipped into my subconcious.

Did you notice how the show tried to slip in "fish sticks" and "fish paste?" They didn't catch on, as neither did "eeee-e-eeee-e." But then again, not many of us can squeal like a dolphin.

Thu Nov 16, 08:35:00 PM PST  
Blogger BeckEye said...

I speak dolphin quite fluently. My nieces think I do it quite well, anyway. I'm not so good at the foghorn though.

Fri Nov 17, 12:17:00 PM PST  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

You can "dolphin" and "foghorn," but can you "a-oooou-gah" like Old Man Jenkins?

Fri Nov 17, 08:43:00 PM PST  

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