The Second Funniest Food Blog Entry, Ever
So Procrastinator Junior is sick, which means the both of us have to stay inside. Stir crazy yet? Naw, I have the Internet and Lord if I didn't strike blogging gold. This is the second funniest food-related blog entry, ever. Anthony Bourdain savages most of the Food Network personalities, as well as his former employer.
You don't believe me? Check out this Bourdain excerpt on Giada DeLaurentis:
What’s going on here!? Giada can actually cook! She was robbed in her bout versus Rachael Ray on Iron Chef America. ROBBED!
And Food Net seems more interested in her enormous head (big head equals big ratings. Really!) and her cleavage--than the fact that she’s likeable, knows what she’s doing in an Italian kitchen--and makes food you’d actually want to eat. The new high concept Weekend Getaway show is a horrible, tired re-cap of the cheap-ass “Best Of” and “40 Dollar a Day” formula.
Send host to empty restaurant. Watch them make crappy food for her. Have her take a few lonely, awkward stabs at the plate, then feign enjoyment with appropriately orgasmic eye-closing and moaning..Before spitting it out and rushing to the trailer. Send her to Italy and let her cook. She’s good at it.
Of course, my most favorite, funniest food-related blog entry of all time is this one...
You don't believe me? Check out this Bourdain excerpt on Giada DeLaurentis:
What’s going on here!? Giada can actually cook! She was robbed in her bout versus Rachael Ray on Iron Chef America. ROBBED!
And Food Net seems more interested in her enormous head (big head equals big ratings. Really!) and her cleavage--than the fact that she’s likeable, knows what she’s doing in an Italian kitchen--and makes food you’d actually want to eat. The new high concept Weekend Getaway show is a horrible, tired re-cap of the cheap-ass “Best Of” and “40 Dollar a Day” formula.
Send host to empty restaurant. Watch them make crappy food for her. Have her take a few lonely, awkward stabs at the plate, then feign enjoyment with appropriately orgasmic eye-closing and moaning..Before spitting it out and rushing to the trailer. Send her to Italy and let her cook. She’s good at it.
Of course, my most favorite, funniest food-related blog entry of all time is this one...
Labels: Anthony Bourdain, Food, The Food Network, TVgasm
posted by Writeprocrastinator at 10:18 AM
8 Comments:
Excellent favourite and second favourite, the photos and commentary on Giada were a good laugh. I read the Bourdain guest blog the other day and loved it too.
Yeah, "satan's slushee" never gets old. Bourdain did a great job, that's good vitriol.
Vitriol when properly prepared somehow becomes so sweet. Magic I guess.
Dale,
Absolutely, when the sentiment and intentions behind it are genuine.
I'm not gonna watch that Giada travel show. She's my Goddess and I won't see her despoiled like a two-bit Rachel Ray.
Eric,
They tried to do the same to Bourdain and he left the Food Network over it. Now I'm sure that Giada, as a DeLaurentis, should be well off to a degree, but her television career has just started, and I think that the Food Network has somewhat taken advantage of her.
Bourdain is famous for being a rebel and a non-conformist, but Giada's career was just taking off and they shoehorned her into Rachael's old slot, now that Miss Ray's gone nationwide.
I REMEMBER THAT POST! so funny! I love antnee bourdain. my mother turned me onto him. he's a hedonist and sexy in that twisted, dark, shoulda been a biker ex-con way.
I also love that he doesn't exercise restraint, not a modicum of it.
Katie,
I was just checking out the menu of his restaurant
http://www.leshalles.net/ny_park.php
He is a rare chef in his accessability and everyday personality.
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