Thursday, May 03, 2007

Adding Actual Insult To Injury...

A serial San Francisco bank-robbery suspect - dubbed the "Boring Bandit" for his droll style during some of his holdups -- has been arrested after falling out a motel window.

As part of his punishment for being a less than invigorating bank robber, Vanity 6's "He's So Dull" will be played in a continuous loop for the first twelve hours of every day that he is incarcerated.

For the other twelve hours? In his famous flat monotone, Ben Stein will read all of Tom Wolfe's library...










in Swedish...







...with a nose plug on. Dammit, that will teach him to be boring! Bank tellers are underpaid and they want excitement when you knock their place of work over! Come strong and over the top and leave that boring shit for the credit unions, Michael!

Boring Ass McDull Robber!

6 Comments:

Blogger Katie Schwartz said...

oh my god, that is so funny, wp!!! I am howling. mcdull?! hahahahaha.

Thu May 03, 06:48:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Katie-lah,

Don't you think that's an appropriate punishment?

Thu May 03, 08:30:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Katie Schwartz said...

f***k YES!

Fri May 04, 09:51:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Katie-lah,

Ha-HAH!

Fri May 04, 09:54:00 PM PDT  
Blogger AngelConradie said...

so, um... was there really such a robber or did you make this up?

Sun May 06, 06:21:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Angel,

I didn't, no. Did the San Francisco Chronicle?

Sun May 06, 08:39:00 PM PDT  

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