Friday, May 04, 2007

Curse You, Phil Collins!

I don't remember which song it was, though I could tell you that it post-Abacab, because I pretty much hate everything that he did after that. I can tell you that while I can be pee-shy on occasion, whatever insipid Phil Collins they played in the Sizzler bathroom, killed my stream...




Phil Collins is a stonecold whiz-killer and he must be stopped.


I will say that I won't follow anyone into the restroom, but Phil?...


In your case, I'm gonna make an exception and when you get everything lined up?...


I'm gonna treat you to a special acapella eighty decibel rendition of "One More Night," à la thrash metal style.

Like a river to the sea
I will always be with you
And if you sail away
I will follow you
Give me one more night, give me just one more night
Oh one more night, cos I cant wait forever

10 Comments:

Blogger "jew" "girl" said...

I think you've got an essay here... phil collins killed my pee stream!

Fri May 04, 09:50:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Katie-lah,

But is it Sedaris worthy? Or is more like Dave Barry on crack?

Fri May 04, 09:56:00 PM PDT  
Blogger BeckEye said...

Phil is kind of a lame-wad, but I actually like "One More Night." Although I'd really like to hear a rock rendition of it. Maybe Daughtry will cover it. ;)

Sat May 05, 04:16:00 PM PDT  
Blogger chelene said...

Whew. I thought you were going to say it was Sussudio or Easy Lover because I still love those two.

Sat May 05, 04:38:00 PM PDT  
Blogger angel said...

i'm not sure i get why they play music in the toilets... there's nothing more disconcerting than listening to the person in the stall next to you singing along to the music while... um, well... you know!

Sun May 06, 06:19:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Al Sensu said...

It's to drown out all the idiots gabbing on their mobiles.

"Hold on, I need to flush and zip up."

Sun May 06, 09:26:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Becka,

I don't want to hear rock versions of Phil after Disturbed ruined "Land of Confusion."

Chelene,

When "Sussido" came out, I was in Italy and everyone laughed at him, unmercilessly. The word means "whisper." As far as "Easy Lover?" I only like the Phillip Bailey parts. Collins can't hang with Phillip, though few singers can.

Angel,

Good question and...

Al,

...looks like Al answered it just about right.

Sun May 06, 08:43:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Coaster Punchman said...

Putting "One More Night" into our heads? What in God's name did we do to deserve that, Write?

Sun May 06, 09:36:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Dale said...

They should just have the soothing sounds of waterfalls in there. No Phil, ever.

Mon May 07, 12:03:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Coaster,

Smokey The Punchman says: "Only you can prevent forest fires and Phil Collins.

Dale,

Absolutey...except the people that have those sound machines for when they go to bed, would fall asleep in the bathroom.

Mon May 07, 08:54:00 PM PDT  

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