(Dis)Respect Your Elders
So today is the Centennial of the Great San Francisco Earthquake and they had a big shindig at Lotta's Fountain down by Montgomery Street.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/04/18/MNGP5IAU4K6.DTL
This was adjacent to one of my work sites, so I peeked at the behind the scenes from time to time and I got to see several news crews set up. I also had to dodge the hundreds upon hundreds of celebrants (for lack of a better word) as they surged forward like salmon spawning upstream.
The majority were dressed like twenty-first century tourists, though there were people in period costumes, bowler hats and the like. There were one too many gals dressed like Rose from "Titannic" which is interesting considering the ship's sinking was 1912, but, hey. Several firemen and firewomen in firemen costumes of that era. The concept of firewomen in pants would've caused an uproar and might've caused a few heart attacks back in 1906.
There were some sweet rides and I do mean swweeeet. There were some cars that I'm almost certain came after 1906, but to see such magnificent machines overwhelmed my urge to heckle what seemed like obvious anachronisms (same for the gals dressed up like Rose). And, who am I to try and gauge what is historically accurate if I don't have a text book right in front of me to directly compare to them? Not to mention that I'm counting the authors of such books to be thorough and not lazy when researching the photos and sketches of that era.
The driver of one car even lit his headlights, literally. They were candle-powered! There were also fire wagons, drawn by teams of horses and two portable Jumbotron screens to show the whole festivity. Two hours before the festivity commenced, one of the Jumbotrons was showing "Tin Cup." What this had to with the Great Earthquake, I have no idea. I think this was more to annoy the bums and junkies who were being forced either up or down Market Street, to as far away from the ceremony as possible.
The Mayor has rebounded well from my father-in-law's Brooklyn-style greeting
http://writeprocrastinator.blogspot.com/2006/02/raising-citizen-kane.html
and the sheen has been restored to his Honor's hair, though it seemed about two quarts low. Just like his concern over gang killings in the Western Addition and our public schools.
He did have a great rapport with the survivors of the Quake and his Pomade-ness was a good emcee. He would make a great talk show host and I think he would make a fairly good mayor in any city or town that was only half as complicated to run as San Francisco. I wonder if he is a man of constant sorrow or if he uses Dapper Dan?
On the way home I stopped off at a Starbucks, not for coffee but because my blood sugar was running low. One barrista was refilling the scones, muffins and coffee cakes. He left the doors to the glass case open and in a moment of work-related fatigue mixed with the sensory overload from the Quake celebration, I almost reached for a coffee cake.
The only thing that stopped me was concern over handling the food as there were no tongs or wax paper to pick up the food and in a blonde moment, I asked another barrista if I was to help myself or were they to get them for me. David Spade and your evil English Teacher from the eighth grade would turn green with jealousy at the look of condescension this barrista dealt me, mixed with a smile that would make a cobra uneasy.
"No sir, we will get one for you" she said with malevolent mirth, "what would you like?"The "sir" had the same tone that I've heard dished countless times to the elderly by my co-workers when I worked at Safeway. The "don't bother me you waste of oxygen, I'm talking to Diana about hairspray and lipgloss" brushoff. Swell, remember this moment well, Miss Barrista when you are forty-one and my grandson won't even wait 'til you're out of earshot to say, "did you get a load of that dinosaur? What was she thinking? Oh no, that's right, she wasn't!"
I looked over and for some odd reason, the apple fritter appealed to me, thus setting me up for the knockout barb. I asked if the apple fritter had apple in it, because I hate it when it is all dough, cinnamon, and absolutely no apple whatsoever. Because then, realistically, why not just get cinnamon coffee cake instead?
"Oh, yes, sir. The apple fritter tastes just like a doughnut." With "doughnut" delivered with the same intonation that David Spade did for the air steward "buh-bye."
That's right wench, mess with the bear and you'll get mauled.
And I don't mean that in a "Steven Segal wants to read lines with you in his trailer-kind of way," but in a "I'm-tired-cranky-I've-forgotten-more-than-you'll-ever-know-don't-mess-with-me-smarmy-wench-I'll-leap-over-the-counter-and-rend-you-with-my-claws-way."
Eh. I tipped her $1.17 because they share the tips at the end of the day and the other two barristas are going to go broke with her brand of courtesy, if they're not all set upon by an angry mob, first.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/04/18/MNGP5IAU4K6.DTL
This was adjacent to one of my work sites, so I peeked at the behind the scenes from time to time and I got to see several news crews set up. I also had to dodge the hundreds upon hundreds of celebrants (for lack of a better word) as they surged forward like salmon spawning upstream.
The majority were dressed like twenty-first century tourists, though there were people in period costumes, bowler hats and the like. There were one too many gals dressed like Rose from "Titannic" which is interesting considering the ship's sinking was 1912, but, hey. Several firemen and firewomen in firemen costumes of that era. The concept of firewomen in pants would've caused an uproar and might've caused a few heart attacks back in 1906.
There were some sweet rides and I do mean swweeeet. There were some cars that I'm almost certain came after 1906, but to see such magnificent machines overwhelmed my urge to heckle what seemed like obvious anachronisms (same for the gals dressed up like Rose). And, who am I to try and gauge what is historically accurate if I don't have a text book right in front of me to directly compare to them? Not to mention that I'm counting the authors of such books to be thorough and not lazy when researching the photos and sketches of that era.
The driver of one car even lit his headlights, literally. They were candle-powered! There were also fire wagons, drawn by teams of horses and two portable Jumbotron screens to show the whole festivity. Two hours before the festivity commenced, one of the Jumbotrons was showing "Tin Cup." What this had to with the Great Earthquake, I have no idea. I think this was more to annoy the bums and junkies who were being forced either up or down Market Street, to as far away from the ceremony as possible.
The Mayor has rebounded well from my father-in-law's Brooklyn-style greeting
http://writeprocrastinator.blogspot.com/2006/02/raising-citizen-kane.html
and the sheen has been restored to his Honor's hair, though it seemed about two quarts low. Just like his concern over gang killings in the Western Addition and our public schools.
He did have a great rapport with the survivors of the Quake and his Pomade-ness was a good emcee. He would make a great talk show host and I think he would make a fairly good mayor in any city or town that was only half as complicated to run as San Francisco. I wonder if he is a man of constant sorrow or if he uses Dapper Dan?
On the way home I stopped off at a Starbucks, not for coffee but because my blood sugar was running low. One barrista was refilling the scones, muffins and coffee cakes. He left the doors to the glass case open and in a moment of work-related fatigue mixed with the sensory overload from the Quake celebration, I almost reached for a coffee cake.
The only thing that stopped me was concern over handling the food as there were no tongs or wax paper to pick up the food and in a blonde moment, I asked another barrista if I was to help myself or were they to get them for me. David Spade and your evil English Teacher from the eighth grade would turn green with jealousy at the look of condescension this barrista dealt me, mixed with a smile that would make a cobra uneasy.
"No sir, we will get one for you" she said with malevolent mirth, "what would you like?"The "sir" had the same tone that I've heard dished countless times to the elderly by my co-workers when I worked at Safeway. The "don't bother me you waste of oxygen, I'm talking to Diana about hairspray and lipgloss" brushoff. Swell, remember this moment well, Miss Barrista when you are forty-one and my grandson won't even wait 'til you're out of earshot to say, "did you get a load of that dinosaur? What was she thinking? Oh no, that's right, she wasn't!"
I looked over and for some odd reason, the apple fritter appealed to me, thus setting me up for the knockout barb. I asked if the apple fritter had apple in it, because I hate it when it is all dough, cinnamon, and absolutely no apple whatsoever. Because then, realistically, why not just get cinnamon coffee cake instead?
"Oh, yes, sir. The apple fritter tastes just like a doughnut." With "doughnut" delivered with the same intonation that David Spade did for the air steward "buh-bye."
That's right wench, mess with the bear and you'll get mauled.
And I don't mean that in a "Steven Segal wants to read lines with you in his trailer-kind of way," but in a "I'm-tired-cranky-I've-forgotten-more-than-you'll-ever-know-don't-mess-with-me-smarmy-wench-I'll-leap-over-the-counter-and-rend-you-with-my-claws-way."
Eh. I tipped her $1.17 because they share the tips at the end of the day and the other two barristas are going to go broke with her brand of courtesy, if they're not all set upon by an angry mob, first.
Labels: The In-laws
posted by Writeprocrastinator at 8:44 AM
2 Comments:
she's lucky you didn't beat her with a stick. love a good apple fritter. she's a snatch. funny yarn.
"she's lucky you didn't beat her with a stick."
No. Keep this in mind and not, I repeat, not, that I would want anything bad to happen to her, but you would imagine that someone who works around steam and hot beverages all day, would practice good karma.
It was a decent apple fritter, but again, just six small pieces of apple. I'm going with cinammon cake from now on.
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