Feedback From The "Writers On A Storm Contest"
I've brought up a few posts ago that I'd entered the Writers On The Storm contest and didn't make the quarter finals, with a script that made the quarter finals in another contest a couple years ago. It was laziness on my part because I figured that rather than tuning it up and modernizing it, that it would be good enough as is.
http://www.writerstorm.com/site/?p=home
For example, I made references to sword and sandal films because I thought that the whole "Gladiator" would still be going when it sold. How fast did "Troy" and "Alexander" die out? The timing was perfect then, but as they say, "never writer for what you think will be popular later on."
G.L, my friend and a writing role model since I was fifteen, says that I should always put forth my best effort and submit my best material. Sound advice that I never seem to entirely take to heart as the opus I covet so much will never be submitted to any screenplay contest or by itself to a production company. It will only appear as a novel or as a screenplay after I've sold a few others, period. That's just me, I don't want the thing diluted into something that's it's not, just because "I'm sorry that we had to go in a different direction with your story because Hungarian laser-wielding lesbian vampires are testing through the roof!"
Not that they shouldn't test through the roof or that their stories shouldn't be told, I would rather tell their stories in a script other than the one I poured my heart and soul into.
So yes, I will tune "Dinner At Your Place" up. In the meantime, the good folks at the WOTS contest gave everybody a little feedback (or was it just for me? Don't email me if they didn't do it for you) on the script that they submitted. You don't get that with every contest and you're lucky to get a form email-letter telling you whether you made the quarter finals or not.
So "PJ" wrote the feedback to "Dinner" and I agreed with most of it, though some of the feedback stuck me odd. Let's glance over this together...
"A well-written story with a suspensful premise." I don't know about those last two words, it was a rom-com, how much suspense could there possibly be? Somebody is getting somebody and somebody might wind up lonely by the time the credits roll. After the credits, there might be a suprise or two. I should take part of that back, there is a question that isn't answered until the very end.
"Many of the characters are engaging, especially Linda." Linda was not meant to be sympathetic or the most engaging. She's a quasi-villain, as much as a victim of her own delusions. Either "PJ" didn't read the script or I did an incredibly bad job as a writer of getting that across, and neither bodes well. Or "PJ" relates to Linda's character a little too much and I can't really say that because I don't know "PJ" from Eve or Adam.
"The author has a good ear for dialogue. The tone and flow to the story is good." Damn "PJ," dinner's on me if you're up here and I don't mean McDonald's. "Many of the scenes have a good amount of conflict." Good, that's just what I wanted to get across... "But there needs to be conflict in every single scene." I thought that there was a tad too much and that it would alienate the reader, just goes to show and I mean that sincerely.
"So, make sure to put in conflict in each scene and cut out any chitchat or small talk." This script was written as dialogue-heavy. I wrote this right after I took Dov S. Simens Two Day Film School http://www.webfilmschool.com/2day.htm and this was meant to be a script that could be shot on the cheap with a minimum of locations. Basically, it was to be more stage play than film. So the small talk was as essential to me as it would be to Woody Allen or Jim Jarmusch, but I can see how that would've alienated a reader.
"The author does a nice job pulling the reader into the story right away and sustaining the reader's interest throughout." You want flowers with that dinner, PJ?
"There are a few minor formatting mistakes. Check out Jim Cirile's 'Format and Style Guide 2006' for examples of how to format a basic screenplay or buy some professional scripts from a place like scriptcity.com and read them over for further study." More laziness on my part, that's all I'll say about that other than it wasn't very professional on my part.
The scripts are graded with the following system: "Excellent," "Very Good," "Good," "So-so," and "Not Good." I received "Good" on premise, characters and structure. "Very Good" on dialogue and one would think that one "Very Good" more, might have vaulted me into the quarter finals. There was also this...
Since the author obviously has a lot of potential as a writer, we highly recommend checking out Writer's Boot Camp (http://www.writersbootcamp.com/) ." Which I cannot distinguish if this is genuine or a pitch...
and speaking of which, check out my store at http://www.cafepress.com/Writeprocrast
Because my accountant says that I need to make more of an effort than I have in the past of selling it. Of course, she doesn't mean in the blog. She means actual advertising and sending products to highly visible clients.
More laziness on my part.
http://www.writerstorm.com/site/?p=home
For example, I made references to sword and sandal films because I thought that the whole "Gladiator" would still be going when it sold. How fast did "Troy" and "Alexander" die out? The timing was perfect then, but as they say, "never writer for what you think will be popular later on."
G.L, my friend and a writing role model since I was fifteen, says that I should always put forth my best effort and submit my best material. Sound advice that I never seem to entirely take to heart as the opus I covet so much will never be submitted to any screenplay contest or by itself to a production company. It will only appear as a novel or as a screenplay after I've sold a few others, period. That's just me, I don't want the thing diluted into something that's it's not, just because "I'm sorry that we had to go in a different direction with your story because Hungarian laser-wielding lesbian vampires are testing through the roof!"
Not that they shouldn't test through the roof or that their stories shouldn't be told, I would rather tell their stories in a script other than the one I poured my heart and soul into.
So yes, I will tune "Dinner At Your Place" up. In the meantime, the good folks at the WOTS contest gave everybody a little feedback (or was it just for me? Don't email me if they didn't do it for you) on the script that they submitted. You don't get that with every contest and you're lucky to get a form email-letter telling you whether you made the quarter finals or not.
So "PJ" wrote the feedback to "Dinner" and I agreed with most of it, though some of the feedback stuck me odd. Let's glance over this together...
"A well-written story with a suspensful premise." I don't know about those last two words, it was a rom-com, how much suspense could there possibly be? Somebody is getting somebody and somebody might wind up lonely by the time the credits roll. After the credits, there might be a suprise or two. I should take part of that back, there is a question that isn't answered until the very end.
"Many of the characters are engaging, especially Linda." Linda was not meant to be sympathetic or the most engaging. She's a quasi-villain, as much as a victim of her own delusions. Either "PJ" didn't read the script or I did an incredibly bad job as a writer of getting that across, and neither bodes well. Or "PJ" relates to Linda's character a little too much and I can't really say that because I don't know "PJ" from Eve or Adam.
"The author has a good ear for dialogue. The tone and flow to the story is good." Damn "PJ," dinner's on me if you're up here and I don't mean McDonald's. "Many of the scenes have a good amount of conflict." Good, that's just what I wanted to get across... "But there needs to be conflict in every single scene." I thought that there was a tad too much and that it would alienate the reader, just goes to show and I mean that sincerely.
"So, make sure to put in conflict in each scene and cut out any chitchat or small talk." This script was written as dialogue-heavy. I wrote this right after I took Dov S. Simens Two Day Film School http://www.webfilmschool.com/2day.htm and this was meant to be a script that could be shot on the cheap with a minimum of locations. Basically, it was to be more stage play than film. So the small talk was as essential to me as it would be to Woody Allen or Jim Jarmusch, but I can see how that would've alienated a reader.
"The author does a nice job pulling the reader into the story right away and sustaining the reader's interest throughout." You want flowers with that dinner, PJ?
"There are a few minor formatting mistakes. Check out Jim Cirile's 'Format and Style Guide 2006' for examples of how to format a basic screenplay or buy some professional scripts from a place like scriptcity.com and read them over for further study." More laziness on my part, that's all I'll say about that other than it wasn't very professional on my part.
The scripts are graded with the following system: "Excellent," "Very Good," "Good," "So-so," and "Not Good." I received "Good" on premise, characters and structure. "Very Good" on dialogue and one would think that one "Very Good" more, might have vaulted me into the quarter finals. There was also this...
Since the author obviously has a lot of potential as a writer, we highly recommend checking out Writer's Boot Camp (http://www.writersbootcamp.com/) ." Which I cannot distinguish if this is genuine or a pitch...
and speaking of which, check out my store at http://www.cafepress.com/Writeprocrast
Because my accountant says that I need to make more of an effort than I have in the past of selling it. Of course, she doesn't mean in the blog. She means actual advertising and sending products to highly visible clients.
More laziness on my part.
posted by Writeprocrastinator at 11:36 PM
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