Tuesday, March 25, 2008

E-Chaos Nibbles, Then Strikes!

Well folks, this was going to be one of my greatest challenges ever, but like Cupid with a fully automatic crossbow, I will eventually hit something...



Dear Write Boo,

He lied to me. He lied to me. I thought he was my one true love and he let me down. I've heard how you've come through for so many people and I've been to all the other Internet dating sites, to no avail. I'm counting on you to come through with someone who is tender and who loves moonlit walks. Someone with big beautiful eyes, who is affectionate and you know I love to have my ears nibbled.


Sincerely,


Star Jones


Hmm, let's see. "Someone who is tender and loves moonlit walks?" I know just the guy!



Unfortunately, he prefers your...um, "previous self."



He said something about "my favorite smorgasbord is all gone" and left our E-Chaos Headquarters in a huff. No problem because here at E-Chaos, we will find that someone who is as close to your perfect match in this or any other world, or we can't "bring the pain," right?

So I have to find someone who:

A) Who is tender.

B) Who loves moonlit walks.

So...


Okay, Star?...


Well, he has an affection for those with tender ears. What the hell, close enough. Let's call this another successful match for E-Chaos, because we bring the pain!

Labels:

11 Comments:

Blogger James said...

Dracula's picture is the least scary of the series!

Tue Mar 25, 10:42:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Quin Browne said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



i have hope.

Wed Mar 26, 08:57:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Gifted Typist said...

charming

Thu Mar 27, 12:04:00 PM PDT  
Blogger chelene said...

I'd rather stay single forever.

Thu Mar 27, 06:51:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Bridget said...

*B dissolves into undignified giggles*

Fri Mar 28, 12:04:00 AM PDT  
Anonymous bookfraud said...

and i thought i was the only one who liked star jones fat. (ditto oprah).

this killed.

Fri Mar 28, 01:51:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

James,

Well, at least garlic and a stake will work on...

Quin,

Absolutely.

Gifted,

Almost makes you want to jump right back in the dating pool, don't it?

Chelene,

Aw c'mon, a couple of bottles of vodka, a loaf of bread and Mike "The Ear-nibbler."

Bridget,

Ha-hah (that's the Eddie Murphy laugh)!

Book,

Her face still hasn't adjusted and I hope someday she will look somewhat normal.

Fri Mar 28, 06:07:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Jewgirl said...

Another brilliant match! She could teach Tyson how to strap on his sack and be a real man, something he needs to learn.

Sun Mar 30, 09:54:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Katie-lah,

Absolutely. From her legal experience, she really could teach him how to be assertive when he really needs to be in life.

Sun Mar 30, 10:59:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Bubs said...

Beautiful...I can tell you care so much it hurts!

Mon Mar 31, 03:37:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Bubs,

In the spirit of the Marquis DeSade and the Baron Sader Von Masoch, it shows, doesn't it?

Mon Mar 31, 04:06:00 PM PDT  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home