E-Chaos Nibbles, Then Strikes!

Well folks, this was going to be one of my greatest challenges ever, but like Cupid with a fully automatic crossbow, I will eventually hit something...

Dear Write Boo,

He lied to me. He lied to me. I thought he was my one true love and he let me down. I've heard how you've come through for so many people and I've been to all the other Internet dating sites, to no avail. I'm counting on you to come through with someone who is tender and who loves moonlit walks. Someone with big beautiful eyes, who is affectionate and you know I love to have my ears nibbled.

Sincerely,

Star Jones


Hmm, let's see. "Someone who is tender and loves moonlit walks?" I know just the guy!



Unfortunately, he prefers your...um, "previous self."



He said something about "my favorite smorgasbord is all gone" and left our E-Chaos Headquarters in a huff. No problem because here at E-Chaos, we will find that someone who is as close to your perfect match in this or any other world, or we can't "bring the pain," right?

So I have to find someone who:

A) Who is tender.

B) Who loves moonlit walks.

So...

Okay, Star?...


Well, he has an affection for those with tender ears. What the hell, close enough. Let's call this another successful match for E-Chaos, because we bring the pain!