Friday, April 04, 2008

That's Not A Word...

...or is it?

This morning, there was me, happily leaving work because my weekend started and two traders were drafting me, like the sidewalk was the final lap of the Daytona 500.

They were in full conversation mode-

Trader #1: So we had to call (Note, I can't quote him verbatim, since I was trying desperately to tune him out) blah-blah-blah, yakkitty-smackitty.

Trader #2: (Cited equally boring figures and statistics).

I sped up, I was trying to shift into my safe Friday mode and they sped up...nipping at my heels with their baying banter, like relentless bloodhounds after an escaped convict. Was some potbellied prison guard urging them on while he had them leashed? I didn't dare look back to find out.

Trader #1: (Cited stats upon stats)

Trader #2: (Cited even more stats. A veritable stat clusterf*ck and obviously they weren't practicing "safe stats.")

Me: (whispering) Shut up, you statistical tools!

Trader #1: Then right before the bell, we get (proud of transaction and even though I didn't know exactly what he was talking about, I could that he was inflating a simple transaction into the sale of the century). Then, we "systematized" it.

At this point I twitched and spasmed.

Me: (thinking) Okay, not only are you bullsh*ting about your accomplishments, but you're making up words, too! "Systematized???" Shut the hell up, before I take "The Big Book of Pulps" out of my backpack and beat you to a pulp with it!

So I went from a speed walker's pace, to full on jog and barely escaped their disgusting discourse. I was all set to rant that "systematized" is not a word, yet, the M-W online says it clearly is.


...well, those two are still a pair of statistical tools.


Blogger BeckEye said...

Wow, they sounded hot. You should've given them my number. Rounded off to the nearest decimal point, of course.

Fri Apr 04, 01:06:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...


These guys would have put actuaries and accountants to sleep.

Fri Apr 04, 04:46:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Bubs said...


Did you hear anyone playing a saxamaphone as soundtrack music in the background for this conversation?

Sat Apr 05, 06:33:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...


Odd that you should bring that up, that was the second thing that went through my mind.

Sat Apr 05, 10:24:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Just checked MW on-line for (what I thought was) my favorite non-word, "orientated", which the pseudo-business types bandy around i/o "oriented". Who knew? It is a word. All my smugness, lay to waste.
Wah. Damn you, MIriam. And you too, Webster.

Sat Apr 05, 04:53:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...



Good gravy, sounds like a fusion restaurant butchering a potato.

On the other hand, don't you wish you were back in high school again, so that you could spring these words on your English teachers?

Sat Apr 05, 08:34:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

I love to make up words!

'Grossetating' is one from high school.

I like to use 'squinchy' a lot, and it can have different meanings.

For example, Your hair isn't as grossetating as you might think....I like the squinchiness of it, in fact.

Sun Apr 06, 07:02:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...


"Squinchy" is not a word???


It should be.

Sun Apr 06, 03:41:00 PM PDT  

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