Giving Credit Where Credit Is Long Overdue

So for Christmas, the Missus gave me a Compaq V2000 http://www.notebookreview.com/default.asp?newsID=2028 so that I could work without interruption and write whenever the inspiration hits me.

That I should wait so long to mention this gift, is a sin and I've only been using this machine fulltime since February. I was sticking the GeoBook NB-60 a.k.a. "Old Faithful Ver. 2.0" and the home computer instead. I'm a bit of a technophobe, but I'll delve into that in a later post before I go off on another tangent like a dog chasing a stick.

I don't want to praise my wife at the expense of others. So please take this in the best possible way when I say that she was one of only the people in the world (besides G.L.) that had faith in my writing and me. Prior to last October, I've never blogged nor has anyone seen my short stories. None of my scripts have come broken the semi-final barrier nor have the few colleagues that have read my script work, liked more than a few lines here and there.

So the Missus is my cheerleader, my muse, my spellchecker, editor, my bestfriend, the mother of my child, and my wife, all rolled up into one.

She has put up the insecurities that come with being married to an aspiring writer, as well as the whining.

Lots of whining.

I mean if we are to mix metaphors? A vineyard of whining.

She humored me and sacrificed more than a few weekends to learn Corel Paintshop Pro, so that I could have a shop...

http://www.cafepress.com/Writeprocrast

Not to mention that she's my editor which is far from the easiest thing in the world to do. If a computer was to be my editor, my mistakes would melt its circuitboard. I mean the last three pages of my latest short story is making William Strunk and E.B. White turn in their graves like a George Foreman Rotisserie Grill hooked up to 454 cubic inch V8. I have no sense of punctuation whatsoever. My writing should be an example of "The Elements of Defiled."

I know that a period goes at the end of a sentence and that's about it. Colons? Semi-colons? What, you mean that that's not part of the anatomy? Somewhere down in Georgia there's a Sheriff going, "boy, there are laws here, against what you do to commas!"

Then, I come to plot conclusions that are perfectly obvious to me, but they sure as hell aren't there on paper. I'd like to give you an idea what this is like without citing my own work, but, it would be impossible. Because if you viewed my work without the experienced eyes of my wife, you would burst into an ever-consuming fire, forcing Mulder and Scully to come out of retirement. Your hardcore geek neighbor would want that. You? Not likely.

If you really want to know what my work looks like unedited, have a seance and ask the ghost of Evard Munch. I showed him a poem in my past lifetime and while he was never the same, this swell painting came out of it...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:The_Scream.jpg

The Missus provides inspiration by, er...well, besides that. Um, oh yeah, she buys me books on Noir, Kurbrick and the screenplay to "Napoleon Dynamite." Sweet!

She works in a law firm, comes back home with all of her fingers intact, raises my child, and edits my stories. All that without the benefit of Geritol or pep pills like those wussy wives from the 70's and 80's.

So three cheers to the Missus! She does what O.S.H.A, the FBI and the NHTSA cannot do, make my scripts and short stories safe for the viewing public.