Thursday, March 01, 2007

Tell Me-Tell Me, How To Be, A Million-aire-air

I've seen the future, I can't afford it
Tell me the truth sir, someone just bought it
Say Mr. Whispers! Here come the click of dice
Roulette and blackjacks - gonna build us a paradise
Larger than life and twice as ugly
If we have to live there, you'll have to drug me

Maybe these luxuries can only compensate
For all the cards you were dealt at the hands of fate
So tell me
Tell me! tell me! How to be a millionaire
Tell me! tell me! how to be a millionaire!

"How To Be A Millionaire" - ABC

This is my favorite ABC song and every so many years, the Brits school us on funk. Like Heatwave, Soul II Soul and...and...and...hey, they're due about now.

I'm not getting into why I missed the scattering of my Grandmother's ashes today, other than to say the fates conspired against me. I bring her up because the one moment I stopped mourning last week, I had realized that she won't get to share in my success when I make it. I say "when I make it" not to be cocky, but as a postive affirmation and to eliminate any doubt.

I know that it ate at Scorsese, that he didn't get to win the Oscar while his parents will still alive and he even hinted about it in a post-Academy Awards interview. Don't follow this tangent, Write Procrastinator went thataway!

Since the San Francisco Bay Area went from near-drought conditions to becoming Seattle South, I've been weighing my desire to become a millionaire. Why a "millionaire?" Because I want to stay in San Francisco and the condos in even the worst part of town start at $550,000 for a studio. Our apartment has pushed the limits of my rent-controlled patience, with rain water dripping through the front windows and the cast of Jackass downstairs playing beer well as cage matches, and God knows what else causes the thuds and booms. Can clog dancing and cock-fighting (or any undesired combination thereof) be far behind?

Taxi? Follow that Procrastinator!

So, the reasons why I'm ready to be a millionaire:
A) I love to travel
B) I promised the Missus I'd give her a tour of Italy
C) I've never been west of Hawaii
D) I've never been east of Italy
E) Good Lord, I want one of these!
F) I want my own fucking bathroom!
G) I want three cars. Not Ferraris or Bentleys, but I want three cars.
H) I want a house in San Francisco, as well as condos in L.A. and the NYC.

The reasons I'm not ready:
A) I don't work hard enough to be one. That means lots of queries to agents, publishers and production companies.
B) I need to focus on projects all the way to completion and then, rewrite them objectively and quickly.
C) I need to put in more hours on my writing.
D) I need to be focused, period.
E) I want to remain anonymous. As in, no press junkets, interviews and I want to eat my dinner in peace without autograph seekers or people pitching me. I also don't want to change my phone number and address with every other nut.
D) I need to put more hours into my craft.
E) I'm not afraid of failure, I'm afraid of limited success.
F) I bloghop and lurk too much
Who wants to be millionaire?
I do! - I don't! - I do!
Who wants to be millionaire?
I do! - I don't!
I've seen the future and I can't afford it

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Blogger BeckEye said...

Yeah, mark me down for some of those reasons I'm not ready.

Thu Mar 01, 10:10:00 AM PST  
Blogger James said...

I'm content toiling in obscurity, the only reward being self-satisfaction and the occassional kind word from others.

Okay, I'm fucking lying. I want it all and I want it now!

Thu Mar 01, 06:41:00 PM PST  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

Reposting the comment that John Don
( emailed to me, because word verification is giving him the business...

I've reached the ready point.

Success is determined by how much you want it. Persistence is the main ingredient of getting there. Talent keeps you there, but persistence is the key.

"I have come to discover through earnest personal experience and dedicated learning that ultimately the greatest help is self-help-doing one’s best, dedicating one’s self wholeheartedly to a given task, which happens to have no end but is an on-going process."
Bruce Lee


Thu Mar 01, 08:38:00 PM PST  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...


You are in the best place to make it happen, it's not as pretentious as L.A.


Everyone may not want to be under the microscope, but they do enjoy the comfort of the financial aspect.

Johnny Dollars,

Well said.

Thu Mar 01, 08:44:00 PM PST  
Blogger "jew" "girl" said...

I read this post twice last night and realized that I forgot to post my comment because I'm a douche. see big mouth's blog for details re: douche.

in the meantime, I love this post and I just wanted to tell you that. so funny!!

Fri Mar 02, 04:36:00 PM PST  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...


Thank ya much.

Sat Mar 03, 10:45:00 PM PST  

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