C'mon Kleenex...

It's always the same...


...whether it's a bathroom...

...or a bedroom, it's all too cutesy for me.

You know exactly what I am talking about, the printed scenes on the box of tissues. Idyllic flowers, meadows and forests full of butterflies, hummingbirds, songbirds, and the like. All those things, or a wallpaper pattern that would get a first-year art student thrown out of a third-rate art school.

Maybe you'll get lucky and they'll put an Impressionist painting on there, but those get snatched up real fast. The next time my nose is running, I want real change when I reach for a tissue. I want the box covered in with a Coop vixen, ready to spring forth out of her outfit! Or maybe an Ed Roth original, I mean who doesn't want to see Rat Fink staring back at you when you go to the bathroom?

Let's go one better, a box covered in flames. Not hotrod flames mind you, realistic looking flames that truly represent the bug that is tearing everything from your brain to your toes, apart and that has you just half of a degree away from death.

C'mon Kleenex, grow a pair and surprise me.

P.S. I forgot a pirate skull & bones motif, Procrastinator Junior woke up early while I was searching for an "more appropriate" Coop pic to link and threw me off. What? Yes, I shrunk the screen in time.