Monday, March 31, 2008

Not Quite S.A.B. II

Junior's birthday is today and we had celebrated his party yesterday. So, today he wanted to go see Superhero Movie, which was funny as hell in some spots and in the end, completely forgettable.

I would call it a "Group Twinkie." It is enjoyable when viewed with a big audience, some of the jokes are enhanced with a real life laugh-track and I had forgotten half of the movie by the time we got to the parking lot. The outtakes of the Tom Cruise-YouTube spoof were funnier than the ones left in the flick. Becky, you'll appreciate those more than anyone. Rent it just for the outtakes, if nothing else.

At any rate, the co-star of the flick created another "Not Quite Separated At Birth." So here we go and please try to follow my convoluted logic...

Here is Kate Bosworth, right?

Here is Reese Witherspoon, okay?

Easy enough. Now comes the stumper...

Here is Sara Paxton from "Superhero Movie." Now, is she "Sara Bosworth?" Or is she "Sara Witherspoon?" We need some answers here, people! Get M.I.T. up and running on it!

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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Crazy Eights Meme

Ante Scriptum- Quin was nice enough to submit hers and thus, one less person for me to tag and one more entertaining meme for you (win-win).

Miss Suzy tagged My Favorite Cup of Coffee, then she tagged me.

It's all about that number that is good luck in Asia, the Number Eight-

8 Things I’m Passionate About-

1) The Missus and The Kid.
2) Football. Too damn much and I can't watch some games because of my blood pressure (thank you Yorks, for ruining the Niner franchise into the ground and aging me five years).
3) Writing.
4) Eating and if you don't know that by now, you haven't been reading this blog.
5) Reading your blog. Check your Sitemeter, Statcounter or Bravecounter if you don't believe me.
6) Procrastination and if you don't know that by now, you haven't been reading this blog.
7) Video crack. Part of the reason that I've put off this meme for so long, is because I'm trying to unlock "The Osaka Campaign" in "Samurai Warriors 2: Empires."
8) Reading books.

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die

I don't remember what I wrote, the last time I was asked this question and I'm not going to look it up. So for all intents and purposes, this is new...though it probably won't be because I repeat myself-self-self.

1) I want to go to Japan, big time.
2) Get that book published!
3) Get that script produced!
4) Retire! If I do it in San Francisco with the current job, I'll be six feet under before I collect that pension. So numbers two and three do have an direct effect on this one.
5) Get a house, see numbers two and three, unless I move.
6) Go to Russia (in June though, you know I hate the cold).
7) Spend a couple of days in the Midwest. I've never been except in transit, a stopover in Kansas City and I couldn't tell you if it was Kansas or Missouri.
8) Last but certainly not least, see the Missus become a famous painter. She's a lot further along as a painter than I am as a writer, though she really hasn't done a lot since Junior was born.

8 Things I Often Say

1) Good gravy!
2) Moron!
3) Bayyyy-be!
4) Dude.
5) Copacetic.
6) Absolutely!
7) Expletive. Yes, "expletive." Because I can say it everywhere and anywhere and you damn well know I mean "f*ck."
8) Pick a lane, any lane (then followed with a string of expletives).

8 Books I’ve Read Recently

"The Black Lizard Big Book of Pulps"

"The Best American Short Stories 2007 edited by Stephen King" (still haven't finished it!)

"The Chinatown Death Cloud Peril" by Paul Malmont. Thanks to John Carlucci for that recommendation.

"Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing"

"Queenpin" by Megan Abbott

"Wall Street Noir"

"The Chill" by Ross MacDonald

"Bronx Noir"

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over

1) Any Led Zeppelin song other than "Hot Dog."
2) A Coltrane song that I have listened to over fifty times within a four day period and that's according to the iPod's counter.

3) "Take Five" by Dave Brubeck
4) "Long White Cadillac" by Dwight Yoakum
5) "Everbody's Got Their Something" by Nikka Costa
6) "Creation" by El Michaels Affair
7) "Under The Night Stars" by The Sea Hags
8) "Aphrodite's Jacket" by The Cult

8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friends

1) Tolerance. You'd be surprised what people say about one of the five races that I am, obviously not knowing my genetic composition. Needless to say, I don't associate with them.
2) Intelligence.
3) Humor. Why does this meme sound more like the "turn on/turn off" section of Playmate Centerfold?
4) Compassion. The real stuff, not some politico's catchphrase.
5) Similar tastes in culture.
6) Similar experiences in life.
7) I don't know.
8) Je ne sais quoi.

8 Things That Drive Me Crazy

Beth added this one because it drove her crazy that there were only seven categories in Crazy 8s.

1) Bad drivers.
2) Cell phone shouters.
3) Work.
4) Traffic.
5) Intolerance.
6) People that are too lazy to even Wiki something. This is a beautiful age we are living in and so much knowledge is at our fingertips.
7) The "search inside" logo on top of the books that Borders/Amazon puts on the book cover jpegs. I just want to post the pic here and maybe you'd guys would get some business.
8) You asleep at the traffic light. Trust me when I say that it will not get any greener.

8 People I Think Should Go All Crazy 8s on Us

Oh sure, everybody is already picked by now. I tell you what, if you haven't been picked and you want to be linked, just mention it the comment section.

Here is Quin's.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

E-Chaos Nibbles, Then Strikes!

Well folks, this was going to be one of my greatest challenges ever, but like Cupid with a fully automatic crossbow, I will eventually hit something...

Dear Write Boo,

He lied to me. He lied to me. I thought he was my one true love and he let me down. I've heard how you've come through for so many people and I've been to all the other Internet dating sites, to no avail. I'm counting on you to come through with someone who is tender and who loves moonlit walks. Someone with big beautiful eyes, who is affectionate and you know I love to have my ears nibbled.


Star Jones

Hmm, let's see. "Someone who is tender and loves moonlit walks?" I know just the guy!

Unfortunately, he prefers, "previous self."

He said something about "my favorite smorgasbord is all gone" and left our E-Chaos Headquarters in a huff. No problem because here at E-Chaos, we will find that someone who is as close to your perfect match in this or any other world, or we can't "bring the pain," right?

So I have to find someone who:

A) Who is tender.

B) Who loves moonlit walks.


Okay, Star?...

Well, he has an affection for those with tender ears. What the hell, close enough. Let's call this another successful match for E-Chaos, because we bring the pain!


Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Edge Of The Envelope

I'm a big fan of Quin and her 6S submissions.

This one is no exception, I love it. Please read it with an open mind because as she said to everybody who posted a response to the short, "it is what you make of it..."


Yes, I Still Owe Beth A Meme...

...but in the meantime? In oldie...

How much sand
Could Ayn Rand sand
If Ayn Rand could sand, sand?

How much arm
Could a marmoset arm
If a marmoset could arm an arm?

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

My New Nickname!

Chris has given me my new nickname!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am now-

Brown Lightning!

...unless you are talking about a meal you had by:

A) A shifty caterer.
B) A questinonable restaurant in Mexico
C) Any meal that you've had a Taco Bell (you knew better than to eat there).


Friday, March 14, 2008

Not Quite S.A.B...

Follow this progression, okay?...

There's Chris...

Then there's Danny...

Then there's Orlando...the lost Masterson.
Enough with that sausage fest, here's Maggie Gyllenhaal-


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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Splotchy's Name Game Meme Via Chris

Splotchy tagged Chris and Chris tagged me.

Here it goes...

1. Tag one to many persons by doing the name game song on their Blogger name (their first name, if they have one).

2. Tell your tagged, name-gamed bloggers that they will have to continue the Name Game meme, or innocent puppies will be [make up something suitably awful].


Hello, taggees! Please pass this meme on.

If you don't, puppies will be forced to live in a world without kibble!

The only thing preventing this terrible tragedy from being enacted is your continuation of this meme!

There are the rules. Now, I never could do this song right as a kid, so be patient...

Beth, Beth, bo-beth

Banana-fanna fo-feth



Coaster, Coaster, bo-boaster

Banana-fanna fo-foaster



Tanya, Tanya, bo-banya

Banana-fanna fo-anya



Spot, Spot, bo-bot

Banana-fanna fo-fot



Katie, Katie, bo-batie

Banana-fanna fo-fatie



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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Don't Forget About Padma

Don't forget that Season Four of Top Chef begins tonight, in minutes if you are reading this in the East. I see from the bios that one chef is going to have a hard time, one of her favorite dishes is "gnocchi with clams."


Middle Name Meme

So Fran I Am tagged Katie and Katie tagged me.

As Katie said-

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.

2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name).

3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.)

I am telling you right now, this is going to take all day with my middle name (Christopher) and I can't tag that many people.

C: Cats. I'm allergic and the felines love that about me. I've mentioned it before, but I've got a long way to go on this meme and why, it's just like I am catnip. They do figure-eights under my feet.

Mr. Whiskers- Look, it's like "ring around the rosy" just for us! Just run between his legs four times and he sneezes!

H: Hirsute. I'm probably not as hairy as your uncle that embarrasses you every Memorial Day picnic with the "hairshirt," but for someone is who is part Chinese? I'm kind of hairy. On my Mother's side of the family, I am second hairiest.

R: Read. I love to read and will take a good book over ninety-five percent of what is on television. It's a good thing that I am married and have a kid, or I'd prefer books to the company of people.

I: Irritated. I'm always irritated behind the wheel and if you are from out of state and drive badly, I will say "go the f*** back to Laramie and learn how to drive!"

S: Surly. Um, refer above to the letter "I."

T: Told. As in, "I told you this wouldn't work." Yes, I am lemon and salt on your paper cut, because if you didn't follow my suggestion and something went wrong? I will remind you that I had it right. Conversely if you get one on me? I lump it, but I will grumble incoherently.

O: Orange. As in "orange juice," I drink at least three glasses a day.

P: Paper. As in "newspaper." Before the Internet, I used to read three of them a day on weekdays. I wound that down to one and a half newspapers a day after the Chronicle went online and since the Iraq War, I rarely bother. I get most of my information online and my Jeopardy abilities have suffered much since then.

E: Earl. Not as in "My Name Is..." No, call me Mr. Earl.

R: Reveal. As in, "I doubt this meme has reveal one damn thing about me." I might've recycled a bunch of things from other memes and I guess we'll find out if you can actually go blind from plagiarizing yourself.

Now, who do I tag? In alphabetical order as you know their first names

Chris, who has just tagged me!

Let's pretend my middle name is just "Chris" and leave it at that, this meme is cutting into my sleep.

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Monday, March 10, 2008

Quin Humours Me With A "U"

If you've never been to Quin's blog, you should go and check it out. She has been to that "sceptred isle" and lived to tell about it ( tiny water heaters in winter and all). And if that's not enough, she ate the food there. Brave as 'ell, she is, wot?

She speaks of motherhood, of life behind the camera, of the NYC, and the best part of all, the only blog where you will find "The Chronicles of Neville." You ask who is "Neville?" Why, I'll have you know that he is the most fascinating personality in all of Great Britain and the United Kingdom.

Check it out for yourself and if this isn't a sign, one of the local Public Television stations is running one of those England by air shows as I type this!

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Friday, March 07, 2008

Because He Has A Superdelegate In His Pants.

Hey, Mxyzptlk of Earth Observation Blog has gone nation-wide with a political blog on Red Blue America, take a gander.

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Thursday, March 06, 2008

Nice shot, James

A great observation, Mr. Pearce.

Separated At Birth?

Separated at birth?

Bob Goldthwait and...

John Heffron. Of course, this is too obscure for anyone that doesn't follow comedy or hasn't seen Last Comic Standing Season Two.