Sunday, May 18, 2008

Even More Action And The Temple of Boom!

First on today's double bill? Katie Schwartz enters the Second Chamber of Astonishing Adventures Magazine Offices and interviews editor Katherine Tomlinson; a woman as beautiful and deadly as she edits.

Next? Johnny Dollars continues Splotchy's meme and not everything seems to be of this world-

Stepping down the ramp to the tarmac, the humid air smacked me in the face look a hat dish towel. My loud Hawaiian shirt, brown Bermudas and straw hat assisted my pasty skin in screaming ”tourist” to any who might notice me. I was just heading toward the doors to the baggage terminal when I heard the faint whistling from the air above.

Shielding my eyes from the white intensity of the Florida sun, I could just pick out five black specks high in the sky coming from the direction of Elgin Air Force base.

The flight-paths for the specks were all wrong for any aircraft or missile the base might possibly have in their inventory. Damn it, I haven’t even had a chance to get a decent drink yet.

“Henry Lemon” is the cover name for the Agency and the Agency has their fingers into everything the NSA, FBI, CIA, and every other alphabet can’t handle. “Opportunities and riches abound here!” is standard for code for “enemy incursion.”

“I know that I can trust you to keep this in confidence, but if you somehow have changed since the time we saved each others lives? Know that there is far more money to be made than what is in this envelope.” This means we have alien invaders again taking over the brains of human beings – again.

“Now, get down here as soon as you can. I need a good and loyal man, that I know will have my back” is pretty self-evident and just means to get my ass moving.

“Rosebud,” No sooner had I whispered the codeword than my cybernetic implants activated and my forearms opened to reveal the mini-rail guns held within. A quadriplegic since a landmine have me apart in Afghanistan, the Agency had rebuilt me with all kinds of sweet boys-toys.

The specks have covered a lot of territory by now and I could see they were five men wearing Thaitana rocket packs and were bristling with all sort of weapons modules. I hate Thaitana MindSlugs and their human hosts. You can’t get the little bastards out without twenty hours of microsurgery and a hell of a lot of prayer.

These poor soldiers just became expendable.

Twisting around, my first burst of fire rupture the wing fuel tanks in the plane I just arrived it. The resulting fireball incinerates two of the rocket men, but it also kills the flight crew and a dozen passengers. Their families will get wonderful letters explaining that they were killed defending their country.

Danger, chills, excitement, and all this for the price of popcorn!

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Saturday, May 17, 2008

Action! Action! I've Got Action!

Coming to Write Procrastinator, the double feature film bill that you've been waiting for!

First, Quin keeps Splotchy and Bubs's meme going, as the story virus spreads! Watch as she channels the late Messr. Thompson himself! Featuring Bubs as "Hunter S." and Lindsay Lohan as "Oscar Zeta Acosta!"

Next on the exciting double bill! Katie "Scoop" Schwartz interviews Astonishing Adventures Magazine Editor John "Don The Mad Monkey, Mon" Carlucci!

There will be blood! There will be moldy peanuts! There will be interviews and no subject will be spared!

Will Katie make past Cerebus, the Minotaur and The Maze, to get the interview? Will Quin escape the shadow cabal of evil Pan Am lawyers? Only you can click and find the answers!

I give them both two solid thumbs up! There you have your pull quote, now put the grapefruit knife down!
-Richard Roeper

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Friday, May 16, 2008

Splotchy Has Another Story Meme

Cool, just like JJ's Friday Flash Fiction of old, Splotchy has another viral story meme. Bubs caught it and he's dishing it out to the rest of the Internet.

Splotchy wrote...

I had been shuffling around the house for a few hours and already felt tired. The doorbell rang. I opened the front door and saw a figure striding away from the house, quickly and purposefully. I looked down and saw a bulky envelope. I picked it up. The handwriting was smudged and cramped, and I could only make out a few words.

Bubs wrote...

I looked up and down the street but didn’t see any delivery truck, or any car for that matter. No FedEx, no UPS , no creepy-looking porno'd-out conversion van with a half-assed delivery service sign taped to its side. Nothing. It's like delivery man just disappeared. I stepped back inside, re-set the deadbolts and took a closer look at the envelope.

Mentally I ran through the checklist of letter bomb warning signs. The handwriting on the envelope, smudged and cramped as it was, was laid out in a tiny, obsessively neat block lettering. It practically screamed recently-de-institutionalized loner with time on his hands. No ticking or whirring sounds, that’s good. No odd smells, no leaks or stains on the package. Check. Weight seemed evenly distributed, that’s good too. I decided to open it.

Inside I found a plane ticket to Pensacola, a business card for a lawyer in Niceville, five crisp $100 bills and a four page handwritten note. Well. This was different. I poured a cup of coffee, threw some meat to the dogs to stop em barking, and sat down to read.

I wrote...

Now I knew that Niceville is the home of Mullet Festival and by that, I mean the fish and not the god awful hairstyle. Also, Elgin Air Force base was just a hop, skip and a jump from there, but beyond that? I’ve never been in that part of woods nor do I believe that I knew anybody down there.

The four page letter was a missive from my friend from the first Gulf War, Henry Lemon. The lay out of the four pages was odd; the first page said “this money is just a small example of the money to be had.”

The second page said “opportunities and riches abound here!”

The third said “I know that I can trust you to keep this in confidence, but if you somehow have changed since the time we saved each others lives? Know that there is far more money to be made than what is in this envelope.

The fourth page said “now, get down here as soon as you can. I need a good and loyal man, that I know will have my back.”

And now I'm tagging:

Quin
Is That So Wrong
Johnny Dollars

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Splotchy's Name Game Meme Via Chris

Splotchy tagged Chris and Chris tagged me.

Here it goes...

1. Tag one to many persons by doing the name game song on their Blogger name (their first name, if they have one).

2. Tell your tagged, name-gamed bloggers that they will have to continue the Name Game meme, or innocent puppies will be [make up something suitably awful].

*****

Hello, taggees! Please pass this meme on.

If you don't, puppies will be forced to live in a world without kibble!

The only thing preventing this terrible tragedy from being enacted is your continuation of this meme!


There are the rules. Now, I never could do this song right as a kid, so be patient...


Beth, Beth, bo-beth

Banana-fanna fo-feth

Fee-fi-mo-meth

Beth


Coaster, Coaster, bo-boaster

Banana-fanna fo-foaster

Fee-fi-mo-moaster

Coaster


Tanya, Tanya, bo-banya

Banana-fanna fo-anya

Fee-fi-mo-manya

Tanya


Spot, Spot, bo-bot

Banana-fanna fo-fot

Fee-fi-mo-mot

Spot


Katie, Katie, bo-batie

Banana-fanna fo-fatie

Fee-fi-mo-matie

Katie

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